Consult your #100 list SPT challenge. My #21 is "I've had a miscarriage."
Well, like all miscarriages, this is not a happy story. But like all life experiences, it has been part of my growing process. I believe each experience we have is for a reason and each experience has shaped me into the person I am today.
After our first year anniversary Matthew and I decided it was time to start our own family. We tried to get pregnant with no luck. We turned to our family doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This basically means that I don't always ovulate. Well, we all know that if you don't ovulate, you can't get pregnant. Anyway, I started fertility medication after about a year of trying on our own. I took it for three months and right before Christmas I went in to the doctors for a blood test. The very next day Matthew was going to be tested to see if he was having issues too. So, went to the doctor's together and the doctor starts explaining what we have to do to get Matthew tested. Matthew wasn't too excited about the whole thing, but we needed to figure out why I wasn't getting pregnant. Before the doctor sent us home with a "cup" he said, "let's see if Dacia's pregnancy blood test came back positive." Much to our surprise, it was positive. Matthew was so relieved!! :) I think it was Dec. 22 or 23 and I remember a few days before that feeling nauseated because I was baking with peppermint extract. I remember that I felt like throwing up and I had to lay down. Anyway, about a week before this doctor's appointment I had been taking Dayquil for a few days because I had gotten sick.
We came home from that Doctor's appointment so excited. We were leaving for our Christmas vacation the very next day. We called both our families and shared the good news. I even had my brother paged in the airport so I could tell him. Unfortunately the very next day before leaving town I started spotting. I called the doctor who was very sympathetic and told me that if it was a miscarriage that there was nothing I could do to stop it and that I should still go to see our families. I remember Matthew and I crying together because we were so worried about it. Anyway, we went on to California to spend time with our families and it's sad to say, but I had a miscarriage on Christmas Eve. It was the saddest Christmas Eve I've ever had. What was even worse was that not all our family knew so I had to pretend like everything was alright when it wasn't. I know I was only like 2 weeks pregnant, but after trying for an entire year, it was heart breaking. I had the sweetest doctor who took time away from his family on Christmas to let me cry over the phone.
I know now that it just wasn't to be and things work out for the best. We've had our difficulties with fertility, but I'm so fortunate to have three beautiful children and I love them to pieces. I wouldn't trade a one of them (okay, on my good days I wouldn't :) ) I know God has a plan for me and that I won't have any trials that I can't handle, so what ever doesn't break me makes me stronger! I'm so glad that I have such a loving and supportive husband who helped me through that difficult time. He's the best!
Sorry I do have pics of me that Christmas with my family, but they are all pre-digital and my scanner is broken.